Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Back to Normal

I faithfully check PostSecret each Sunday. Last Sunday, this was one of the postcards. While it seems mean, I completely understood. Especially when I was a teenager, I found it so much easier just to be angry at my mom regardless of what she was doing, even when she was nice. When she was nice or not doing anything to me, I'd be mad at her for not letting me be mad at her. And while I felt/feel guilty about was just so much easier to make her out to be the bad person than to recognize that she was human, multi-faceted, and that she wasn't necessarily control of a lot of her behaviour. That difference of what your head knows vs. what your gut feels.

I'm not sure what was worse, her screaming like a mad woman and being paranoid and obsessive, or the anxiety of never knowing what she was going to be like that day. To this day I still can't stand people who are unpredictable and/or inconsistent, even if it's just that they're flaky or impulsive rather than mean or anything like that.

For those of you who had a mentally ill parent, could you identify with this secret? And for those of you who did not, what was your first reaction?

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